Within-expectation-result

Hm.... This result does not seem any better than my past result. I was satisfied with it overall, but I do think it can be much more better by changing the B+ to A+. MAS111 is Calculus1. The exam was moderate. I should say, if you do your homework, you would score 100%. Is that easy.

Nevertheless, I was careless and cost me a lot of marks(around 30%). I should also belief the S (stand for Satisfactory) would be replaced by an A, if i did not S/U it. I done pretty well in that exam. 

The very first day I joined NTU, I aimed for 4.5. I wonder why I seem to yearn for more when I get 4.75. I wish I was not that careless in MAS112. Anyway, I think I deserved better. Laugh out loud. Ironically, the effort i gave in was not proportionate to the result. I belief this might make people envied with green.

Teeth, u have to stand on your own

The yes-days end when it leave me. Lossing them is painful. The merciless dentist removed them as they should not be there. To me, they are healthy and mighty. As the pain get tenser each time, I wonder, why should I remove them? Just because I was told so? Good question ha? Ironically, I was enjoying life before the surgery. 

Luckily, she was caring enuogh to bought me some ice-cream. Although she could not stay for awhile, her warm concern was touching and unforgetable. Muack! I love you my dear. You always know how to comfort me.

Crystal

我们不曾相识。别说谈天，就连打招呼大概也不曾有过。但不知为何，得空时总是会看看她的部落格，了解她的近况。有时看到她在部落格中诉苦发泄，很想给予慰问，但始终没这么做。或许是自卑吧(更重要的是我们不曾相识，对她了解不深，贸然发表不太妥吧？），从内到外，我都没一点配的上成为她的朋友。无论家境，见识，人缘，无一能配的上她。在她面前，我彻底的失败。有时会幻想日后事业有成后，去搭讪她。哈哈，想太远了吧？就只想和她认识，有酱的机会吗？

初三时开始懂得她存在。是因为我当时暗恋的她有时会提到Crystal。那时他们都在“八”她的感情世界。什么郎材女貌，什么分手很可惜。那时开始，她就留下了美好的印象。但话说会来，窈窕淑女君子好求，真的可以用在她身上。她那非凡的样貌，虽称不上倾国倾城，但也是美人一名。她的绯闻也算是有新闻价值，因此不时会听到她的消息。

高二时，瑞琪是我邻居，自然会听到更多的关于Crystal的事咯。同年发现她也是巨蟹座，她生日跟我很近，没记错的话是和刘明华师同日。开始想了解她更多，开始到她的部落格。每当阅读她那流利的英语，都会由心佩服，她的语文能力真的时不可置疑。

自从有了新的手提电脑后，很久都没上她的部落格了，刚刚上去了解了一番。她近来好像蛮开心的，我觉得为她开心。记得上次到那儿时，她好像有好多烦恼，有好多不愉快的事。现在也应该雨过天晴了吧？但现在真的想知道她更多的近况，例如要到那儿念大学，修什么系，等等。

虽然你我没缘相识，但这单方面的关心，我也很满足了，就只想知道你当下会开心，以后会幸福。

暗友笔

pine pine 啊，你是不是真的爱我

28 nov， 自从到了新加坡后，好像没从前那么纯纯的爱，不知是现实了，还是什么。bee bee对不起，都是我的错。你是不是真的爱我，一针见血。我当然是爱你噢，但或许有点变了，变到我都觉得恐怖。我会变回来的

海角七号，更让我再三反思，天使与恶魔的斗争，虽然天使明显赢了，但beebee你知道我知错了吗？不知从何时我忘了那纯纯的爱，或许我近来缺乏精神粮食。庆幸的是回到你身边，一切都能回到从前。说真的，到现在都还没认真的为你庆生，是我不对。一定要让你过一个特别的生日，是我对自己的要求。一定要办到！

Countdown to See YOU

After the glorious pass of HRM, I had slacked for 3 days. Being an uni student, I felt the freedom I yearned. I wish I would ever have this freedom. As the Chinese saying goes, "要自由必须先自律", I know the procrastination must come to an end... Nevertheless, should I have any motivation to start my studies during the following days? Where is the inspired Davis? Where is my preserverence? 

Time and tide wait for no man. I belief the payoff for the slack is beyond what my guess.... Thank God I had finish the series. Without motivation as well as distraction, I could at least pick up my book... 

As the day back to Malaysia approaches, my feeling goes wilder.... Miss YOU.

我不配

今天是友福的生日前夕，hpc 和 sam （还有俊文，佑佑，孙渊）到 ntu 来帮他庆生，哈哈应该感到开心吧，不知道他感觉如何，但我觉得还蛮开心的。到食堂五吃火锅，那东炎真的不行。一道上等的菜肴讲究色香味具全，但它没搭上一个，真够糟糕。没法啦，人在新国，身不由己。之后到福福房，一起唱生日歌，还有sam弹吉它伴奏咯，友福zap到啦。用俊文的手机拍“团体照”时，突然让我联想到求婚大作战（sp)。哈哈，有点想太多。可能是我们用timer，加上我近来看了很多次，因为他们也是用timer。不过还是很逞强。

但那跟这标题有何瓜葛？回到房，电脑播出《我不配》，这首歌给我很深刻的映像。当时眼看就快和宇芊分手时，就是一直想到这首歌。不过，歌词反映了我对她的关系。

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉　已经不对　
我努力在挽回 一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略　你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对　
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配


高三时，因为考试和比赛，说真的没太多时间给她，当然自己也有玩啦，我酱贪玩。但现在我同样的不能陪她，真的让我觉得很对她不起。她为我掉的眼泪，为我的一切，我到现在都无法给她一些最简单的东西，平时无法陪她，连都生日无法帮她庆祝。对不起，但我真的爱你...想很仔细的看看她，有很多很想的事情，但同样的也很想和朋友团聚...嗨，不知该如何。矛盾...到底什么是对你爱的人最好？打个比方，大家都在追求梦想，但你的父母最想的不是每天都能看到孩子吗？连最简单的都没办法...可悲...

Proposal Daisakusen

今天又看了一遍。不知是否近来太少精神粮食，还是身在他乡的寂寞，经常都觉得生活无趣。打个比方说，再过十二小时，就是我的考试了，然而我真的还没认真阅读求学。大考正要降临，我还有闲情去想多多。不知是否是挂念您，所以看这部戏，还是看了这部戏所以想到你。唯一知道的事，每次看了后，都会让我想起你。

记得初中时，我经常半夜无法入眠。想念她，无法和她见面，对当时的我来说真的是非常痛苦。现在的我，和你相隔着这么近，都无法承受，我真的担心到了台湾无法适应。但我想在台湾应该会开心些，毕竟我真的比较想当医生。如果我进入finance这一行，不见的我能比当医生更多时间。因为这行竞争很强，压力很大，或许我们会时常吵架。担心会分手...就只因为我爱你！

这部戏，当男女主角步入20大关时，他们的距离也越来越远。我真的担心，离开你这么远，没有我在你身旁，习惯吗？你习惯我担心，不习惯也担心...矛盾的很... 但很肯定的一点是我无法没有你，每当很久听到或看到您，万分黯然和不安... 

华韵飘扬云南园

感谢上苍，重复的日子终于有点变化，虽然是独自去看，但还总算不赖，就算牺牲读书的时间也是值得的。不知道是不是每个音乐家都能活在自己的世界，他们演奏的时，真的是七情上脸,不应说七情上身。

这场演奏会以庆典曲为主。大多描述人们努力奋斗，但好运不长在，经一番搏斗后，雨过天晴，然后一起庆祝。第一首歌春节序曲）就以春节丰收为主题。箫笛为主的演奏，最能特出那春天的热闹和喜悦，听后心情也没以往那么闷呐。接下来的也是首轻快，没留下深刻的映像，让人有点想睡。二泉映月，低音二胡独奏，简介中说到作曲者华彦匀（瞎子）借歌抒发自己凄苦和对二泉的赞美。这首歌喜悲交替，非常特别,值得一听。

接下来这首，真的够厉害的咯。笛子独奏。他的手指快到比我大字还要快，而且很有姿势下的咯。然后是弹拨乐，题目是驼铃响叮当。这首就厉害咯，不知道用什么乐器啦，不过真的做到你听的出是要表达骆驼在走的声音，tick tock tick tock 酱。但是这首有一点闲。夜深沉，大鼓领奏，京胡协奏，当然还有其他乐器伴奏咯。Drum solo 是我最不会欣赏的歌。每次都觉得鼓是在伴奏，这次除了中间真的是只有鼓那一段，其他都觉得鼓是在伴奏。相比下，跟二十四节令鼓没什么分别，只是他是一个鼓而已。不过，京胡就让我大开眼界，原来二胡也可以像小提琴一样高音。

后面几首，没什么特别，但也不错下的。有古筝独奏（战台风），瑶族舞曲（很普通下），Irish Tune from County Derry（闲）, 和特别的“Thunder and Lightning". Thunder and Lightning 以大鼓和不知道什么乐器作出以打雷类似的声音。最特别的是，我觉得演奏会是蛮严肃的，这首歌就有点民众化，后面有一小段指挥家要听众打拍子。哈哈特别吧。（最后两首是西乐的曲子，用华乐来演奏。

Days were never worse like NTU

Mr Time, would you please stop?
Medicine and Taiwan bug me,
Math and Econ discourage me,
Family and career force me.
Where shall I be?

I am here,
but soul are not.
Taking maths but thinking medicine.
Used to appeal...
But it no longer does...
Going away from heaven.
Heading to my hell...

Why is Doctor a heaven?
It isn`t before the test inspire me,
A cancer is born with kindness,
they are perfect doctor.
Deep inside of my heart,
where kindness is.
After the inspiration,
It no longer is.
Domination my mind and soul.
Where shall I be?

Disillusion of Singapore,
Can I stand any more?
Lost of motivation,
Sick of the uniform daily routine,
fed up with myself...
I`m lost...
Used to be a heaven
Now it is not even a refuge camp
Should I listen to myself for this time?
The only reason why I am here,
I give up as exchange to GOD to grant Bee a place in Singapore,
I give up my dream to be with Bee
But, she is not at my side now
Nor happy is

Isn`t my problem?
Why I am not studying right now.
Isn`t my fault?
for not being able to concentrate...
What I care most,
switch to Taiwan will change my mood or me?

Was considering at the junction,
are walking far from it...
Am I on the right track?
I wonder....

wow mas111 has over

Wow, this kick start was quite confident. Hopefully it`s a full marks in hand. First question was in lecturer note, the reset were just simple logic proving. Hopefully no careless mistake.

3 more exams to go. All not even start my preparation. I am still finding inspiration for study... Who can inspire me?! Time and tide wait for no man. My university life is fading with this laptop.

On the other hand, the first event of my society was sucks enough. Committee do not take any initiative to urge passer-by. Do they really think those people will just walk to you? I have no idea. Yesterday, they are even worst, I found 10 people in 3 hours.( not a good result either) but the remaining 4 hours they only able to find 2 people... the result is poor enough. Today the result is even worse, only manage to get 6 in 6 hours(which is the peak hours) how on earth is happening?

I have no idea who plan this event last year. The fees is so high. $10 for a free T-shirt? Doing charity is good, but please be clear with our goals. Despite the fees, the publicity of our run is eerily few. No idea who take in charge in it.

Days to recess and CA

Next week is a packed week. But i was not preparing anything for next week. Am I on the right track? This answer has been boring me for a long time. What I know is, doctor GUANRENTEE my future. But I did not choose it. In fact, I like to help people a lot, this make me feel more sorry for myself for not going to taiwan. But if bee`s hand is what i hold at the end of the day... It worth anything.

I can catch the BEAT at last

I can catch the beat at last! Avril cute and sexy photo inspire me of the my dust collecting guitar. Since I moved in, never play it seriously before.. I miss the day we in the band room and those private time we had.. Those days were so sohai! I swear when I reached Malaysia, I wish to find they all! Miss you all a.... bak chi yong, yun bolok, u min... Where can I find those precious time back? Haiz...

Days in Uni make me feel I miss out everything in my secondary school life... If I dont have a girlfriend... would everything be better... haha... Such a good question. Anyway, I love bee too... Maybe those days I do not know how to management my time... Sikeling rocks... But now, I learn 1 thing... Go with your feeling! Dont try to miss out anything more... Uni life is damn fucking boring !

Sikeling forever!

Exam is around the corner

The first exam in my university life is 2 weeks from now! On the other side, I not even know what is the courses about. The first course is Human Resource Management(HRM) Is a totally new subject to me. I cant even know what is the main point in this courses. The lecture note is short but the lecturer has a lot to tell. Sometimes, I dont even know what is his point. I love to learn, but I hate exam. lol... Such student... haiz....

Proposal Daisakusen

Haiz, today watched the episode 1 again... somehow i was thinking.. if one day i broke up with my bee... i wonder how i feel when i withness her marriage ceremony. Although i dont hope it would happen... But then the movie remind me to call her more often and care about her more! I love you bee bee... I know we would make it to the end!

Adapting the life in NTU

Time and tide wait for no man. The first time i came to NTU was last month. Things happen in a short period. Once had fierce argue with dear. Joining MSA FOC was a choice that make me in a hard situation. worse, i even joined amcisa... Albeit both are form by Malaysian, in fact chinese school and national school are not united a Malaysian. Boycot happens... In order not being boycotted, had to pretend not involve in any group. Which make me in a no friend situation.

Luckily, mei you are beside me! Not only cheer me up, also help my apetite. haha.. Yesterday dinner was the best meal in Singapore i ever had. Never ate so full and SATISFYING. Thank you mei. If you have any problems, do come to me. I`ll always there for you! Definately, I`ll bug you.. Haha..

Bee Bee a. Such a long time no see your face. How you look now? Miss you... Sorry for my rudeness which burn you. My inconsiderate hurt you... But you know that i love you... Free time , I really worry if I should regret and choose medicine. But everytime i saw your picture in my wallpaper, i know i have no choice. Work hard!

I`ll keep holding on!

Back to You. worry with you

I`m back and sorry
I`m lost and worry
you are the best for me
Pouring all the predicament

Was at a Junction
Was considering rationally
Emotion won eventually
Knew it would be hard
but feel even harder
I want to retreat, could I?

Days past and come
Worries come to stay
Prosperous future was left out
Heading unknown Darkness, Could i do it?

Fall back! Fall back!
Before it is too late
He remind me
I was rational with future
but not this time
I know looking back is useless.
but now is not too late to regret, Could i do it?

For bee, i`ll fight and defence
For US, I must keep holding on
Till the last warrior fall...
No regret never retreat...
Emotion would bring me till the bright... I wish so...