Lose Temper

My tolerance had peaked today that I burst out scolding my roommate. I am not the one who justify his attitude but I find he was rather annoying with his commanding voice telling me what to do and what not. I know this is my short falling as I can`t bear with command from peers. (Neither mom) Yeah, I am my boss, don’t command me! I suppose I am very rebellious and caused bunch of trouble in home, upset my mom every time she tried to make me do something. I just don’t take orders!

Anyway, after reprimanded him, I felt guilty for not being able to control my emotion. A part of me thinks he deserved it, but the angel part urges me to nice to everyone. Her argument is he does not did anything wrong after all. I am the one who could not engage the conversation. But I had lost my temper and what amends the situations? I have no idea. I think saying sorry for second times will to no avail. God save me! I need salvation.

I know it sounds bad, but I doubt his sincerity in our friendship.

F for fragile
That`s why Friendship start with F.

Unbalanced State of Affection

Have you heard “I need you tonight” by Backstreet Boys? Such feeling rushes in my arteries once awhile, especially during full moon. It sounds totally ridiculous to accuse the moon for my moody and emotional ignorance. Strong sentiments drive me away from my studies, revision and a long to-do list. If you were by my side, I suppose everything will be much more different.

Give up, I told myself few years back, I knew cupid will never send her to me again. But why, I met her shadow in my class, named Love, in coincidence. Should I use the word shadow? They are two discrete figures with distinctive habit and share nothing in common. Nonetheless, I can`t help myself relating them together. For the very first place, I am not mean to be here, should not meet her and should not be her classmate. Grown up 3700km apart, seemingly we stand no chance even to meet up. Wonderfully, my delayed arrival had made these all possible.

Are these valid reasons? No! They are innocent while I am the one who should be vigilant and oblique in making choices and taking every single step. I seek for “approval” from friends to convince me that`s ok. But deep inside my heart, I strongly agree that having affairs is wrong independent what majority voted for. The seeking behavior itself reveals the devil side of me. However, how should I keep myself away from the Eden`s apple? Responsibility towards me, my roles and my counterpart, they are in diverging paths.

Whatsoever, the exam is around the corner. I have formal reason to keep it out of my mind, at least in a forceful way. Hereby I would like to share the lyrics. Feel free to download the song yourself, overall it is a sentimental song which soothe my nerves. Just for tonight, it invokes my affection, emotion—the unknown side of me.

---------------------------------------------------------------
I Need You Tonight -- Backstreet Boy
Open up your heart to me
And say what`s on your mind, oh yes
I know that we have been through so much pain
But I still need you in my life this time, and

I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn`t matter if it`s wrong or right
I really need you tonight

I figured out what to say to you
But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do
And I know in time that you will understand
That what we have is so right this time, and

I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn`t matter if it`s wrong or right

All those endless times
We tried to make it last forever more
And baby I know
I need you
I know deep within my heart
It doesn`t matter if it`s wrong or right
I really need you, oh

I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby
I need you right now – It`s gotta be this, it`s gotta be this
I know deep within my heart
No, it doesn`t matter if it`s wrong or it`s right
All I know is baby
I really need you tonight

--------------------------------------------------------------

The seasons revolve as the clock tick-tock
Suffered under the merciless sunshine
Witnessed fall with reddish leaves
Experiencing first freezing winter

Holding promises, aim and principle
Challenged by reality
What`s at the end of this road?
God knows


p/s: mom, i am sure sooner or later you would read this post. I wish to have my privacy for this. I think no comment is needed.

Struggle in the Water

When I was around five, swimming lesson was my weekend routine. It was always a great pleasure to spend the dawn in the pool. I believe I am born lack of the gene to survive in water. The pictures of drowning in the pool are still vivid and real. Fortunate enough, my brother was always there to struggle in the water with me. Haha! Pity you, gor. Without his board shoulder, I doubt the existence of this blog. However, my weekend routine faded as my brother was diagnosed sinusitis due to swimming. Albeit I stopped swimming, I had undergone surgeries twice due to sinus.

After so many years, I am forced to swim again. My first lesson fell on early winter. Since the temperature wasn`t too low, the pool was maintained at mere 23 degrees. Wow! That`s cold! Everyone was giggling when having breaks in the pool. Today was my second lesson. Thank god, they heated the water at a nice 27 degrees. After drinking chlorine water and cramping at the side of the pool, I wonder if my long abandoned skill improves.



I had a date with a maple tree during autumn,
Rosy orange leaf is so adorable and irresistible.

Dusk in NDMC, NTU and USJ4

I had a few basketball games during my PE lesson. Collaborate with 之豪and傢誠, some of my best buddies in NDMC, the games were at the best in all aspect. Despite the adrenaline-rushing moment, I appreciate the laughter from the game rather than the game itself.

Few years back I had a broke up and started to pick up basketball to wear me out so that I would be able to sleep tight at night. The courts recorded predicament as well as the joy found in basketball. Sport is a very good medium for bonding which brings strangers together. The view of the sunset in USJ4 court is breathtaking!
During my happiest time in my life in NTU, playing basketball is more than a sport. It is a social activity which you get to know a lot of seniors and friends who share the same interest. Joining them would help you kill SOME of your free time. (As you would be too free in university, nothing can actually keep you unavailable for the whole day) This court has the memory of walking for 10 mins just to play basketball. Dusk is not as spectacular but it is memorable.

This evening, crossing up my arms looking at the twilight exudes at 101, I had snap shot the scenery filled with orange radiances and joy of basketball. Blending myself and the new community together, I realized that you have to let go before you can pick up new stuff.


Radiance of the dusk blend with the laughter,
Reminisced and recorded the basketball court.

Cool quote

"Which way are you going? The left one where there is nothing right? Or the right one, where there is nothing left?"

Haha, even though we mix up the direction... you still can differentiate left from right?

The Night Before my Chinese Examination

Freedom is the ultimate of our life. We are all seeking freedom in all aspect, financially and physically. That`s why detention sounds horrible to most people. I was the one who send me here, gave up my rights as an ordinary undergraduate. Forced to spend the essence of the day in chores, giving up the best hours for study in the mid nights, etc, I wonder do these worth it? Who can guarantee a better life in future, a better job in terms of money and job prospect? Mom I would really like to let you down, I am really suffering so much here. I can`t remember when I smiled from the bottom of my heart, there weren`t a moment that I really enjoyed myself here. Did I have any? Ya, I admitted that I was not down and emo all the time.

But back to question; does going back worth all the investment spent? Dad is going to have a golden hand shake from his company, yet I am still wondering with my university (which should be done 2 years back). I was once procrastinating in NTU, I was once homesick. Davis, you must pull yourself together, bear all the stress and tackle all the problems of your life. You must not freak out whenever you lost emotional and spiritual guidance. Your heart will bring you through the life. Ya, you are interested in mathematics, but your love is greater! Undoubted, I love the career that help others, engage with different personality every day.

Not to be result orientated, flying colors in the papers are not the goal in life. Effort spent is not only justified by the numbers. Yeah, I lost my glory in study and I was not top here despite theoretically equal effort spent. These are no valid reason for leaving. I wonder who can give me a valid reason to quit or to change one decision that you mean to be final.

What justified in life? Money? Love? Passion? Family? Myself? If it is for me to justify, what shall I choose… Lost…

I learned to suppress my emotion, but not good enough to prevent this post.

Call It A Day

The disaster started when a bee stung my foot. After my shower, I was preparing to study my mid-term when the sudden pain from leg caught my attention. I was curious about the sharp irritation until I saw a bee on the floor. Oh my god, what a bee, why do you sting me?

As the normal procedure, I went for medical treatment. The treatments were more suffering than the bee sting. I had two injections, one for anti-inflammation and the other for tetanus. The question still bugs me a lot, why do I need a tetanus injection for a bee stung? The nurses and doctors did not even explain why the injection is needed.

Does the side-effect of those injections include sleepy? They cost me more than rm100 and a very important night study. I planned to finish my biology revision that night. Gosh, the very first thing I do when I reached my room is sleep. There the night went, tranquil and easy.

Obviously, I would not do well in my biology midterm examination today. Though I am not a result orientated person, I can’t forgive myself for carelessly answer so many question which I am so sure of the answer. I had no idea what`s bugging me during the exam. I even did my checking twice.

Anyway, it worth celebration since the mid term is coming to an end. This means that the journey back to home is nearer! WOOHOO.

Arg!!! I am 57kg...

Gosh~~~ Few days back, I went to the hospital to interview some cancer patients for my report. While waiting for the patients, I wonder how heavy I am. From the statistic, skinny returning from the military training will gain weight (better way to admit the weight gained). Seeing the merciless pointer turning, I was so shock when it stopped at 57. Oh my god. I gained more than 5 kg. This is just too much. I don’t think my muscle growth as much as 5kg. A 10% increase does not sound or feel sweet. Looking in the photos took before I came to Taiwan, I am fat!

Gr... Are lazy and procrastinate in the process of adapting?

Gosh, I lost my motivation again. I wonder why I am reluctant to study. Having two exams in this week but I had not prepare for any. Lost in the past year exams, on the contrary, I am slacking in my room.

When would I get used to the life in NDMC, I can`t even study well. I am not self discipline enough. I recall when I first arrive in NTU. I was not comfortable too. Fortunately, everything is so easy for me and I was able to do well. Will the lucky star shine on me here? Hope so!

284 versus 179

179 was the bus I used to take whenever I wish to shop around the crowded city. On the other hand, 284 is the bus I take every weekend recently. Living in two totally different cultures and pursuing my future in two fields that have nothing in common. Alone on the shaking bus drove by reckless driver recall my memory. Bus drivers in Taipei are as skillful as those in Singapore, Sudden breaking, kissing the ass of other vehicles, but never an accident.

During the camp, I was not aware of the changes though I was told over and over again. I had changed mentally and physically and I find it is irreversible. Does this sound like a process of maturity? Does rational needs to give up your emotion? Reading the previous posts, I wonder who Davis Lee is. Dating the past, I find myself without much feeling towards my life. I lost my sense!

My proficiency in English is declining. Completing this little post is such a hard task… Gosh, there are many things to brush up! I need my mood and passion! Where is my motivation? Someone please inspire me…

God bless ME!

Where is my listener?

Life in Taiwan has never been easy and relax. Report due tomorrow, crazy notes that need to amend a lot, rooms and hostel environment have to reach the high standard of hygiene. I salute to those who are able to balance themselves in NDMC, damn slackers who cross-up their hand waiting for others to complete the job. I hope I could be rebellious and aggressive to break the stringent rules and dont give a damn to those slackers. I hope I am irrational and give up all the effort and resources spent here.

I wonder do doctors suffer so much? Is my stress-tolerance incapable to take such great responsibility? I wonder why I was so excited in sharing my awareness in actuarial sciences, but so sad when I was back to reality.

I have high expectation in you, Crore Elaine Soong. Like a dad yearning for his daughter to complete what he hadn`t. Like a brother sharing his thought but not to force or being pompous. Though you are aware of the hardship and pressure as an actuary, I know with your passion and less pressure from family, you can do your best, pursue what you hope. If you failed, leave no regret. Dont freak out like a coward, dont give up like me. I hope I`m passionate when I graduate as a doctor, joining you in the financial industry, forget about all the investment that prevent me from changing my career.

Woody Lee. As your bro, I hope to tell you that pursue what you like. Dont repeat my mistake by thinking you could turn back. Sometimes the environment itself forces you to continue, sometimes your mom`s love prevents you from failing her expectation, most of the time you will feel you waste all your effort. 決定,it is so clear in Chinese that decision is not suppose to be change. DO CHOOSE PASSIONATELY AND NOT WISELY. You will be successful even you are not a doctor or a lawyer. They earn a lot because they do suffer as much as they gain. Dont judge a book by its cover, dont judge a career by what you hear. Follow your interest and hearts will bring you to your destiny!

Family First

Chinese practice Confucius, they emphasize on filial piety, a respect to the parents and ancestors. In spite of the years of Chinese education received, I did not do my job as a son, as a brother. As I read through my brother`s Facebook album, I found that he is not the guy I am familiar to anymore. I don`t know how he looks like currently, I don’t know how`s he doing, I know nothing about him. He is so unfamiliar to me. I am sorry bro!

Mom was right. We are not united. We don`t even talk to each other once a month. I had a conversation with my bro 6 months ago. GOSH! This is freaking long ago. This is not ok, but what can I do? What will we do?

I wonder how other siblings are. As far as I know, most siblings are close, they share their secret, and they take initiative to meet up. Do we? Do I?

How regretful I am does not help much. I wonder how we could break this ice together. How we update each other and care about each other. Precisely, how would I be genuine with my family. I can`t remember when had I be naked in front of my family.

I love you, dad, mom, bros and sis! I know how much you all concern about me. I know we never want this kind of relationship. What should we do?

Slave in NDMC

Again I am year 1 in a new university, NDMC. Honestly speaking, I am not used to the rules and regulation at all. I am like a kindergarten student. Besides class attendance, we need to take attendance 3 times per day. It is freaking time consuming and meaningless.

In addition, rooms must be dustless. A scrap of dust spoilt all the effort and time spend on cleaning. There is no grey area. I find no way to meet their definition of clean. This is totally crazy! On the contrary, I find my English too poor to descript my captain`s room! Things aren`t in its place, shirts hanged around the room. It seems they haven`t clean their room for 10 years!

With the requirement to be met, I could only find 1 word to descript the food, sanitary. The choice given is even less than a primary school`s canteen. I find some food is “inedible” to me.

This system is too demanding and no welfare at all. I spend most of my time to meet the requirement more than on my study. I am practically cleaner in this school.

At the eleventh hour

7.04 p.m. September 6, 2009

A brand new chapter starts in approximately 1 hour. I am anxious about the life as a military student. My roomies and I had try our best to prevent the X`s. I have tried my best to adopt the life here. Hopefully things work out right and smooth.

Today, I went to the library and log on to my favourite book—facebook. Though it is not significant activity, I felt much better after the 2 hours. One year ago, I spent more than 4 hours per day on this page. One year ago, I was enjoying the freedom I had yearned for so many years. It recorded my most enjoyable life I had. How I hope I am back in NTU, making successful event with friends, having supper at midnight, (to be honest) wasting time around NTU.

After enjoying the priceless freedom for 6 days, I found “my place” in NDMC at last—Library. I felt much freer and less regulated in the library. Time spent in library is luxury!

As the clock tick-tock, time passed slowly and unconsciously. I should put on my uniform and be prepare for my first battle!

All for one, and one for all!

Reported by, Botak Davis

Restricted Freedom

I am free from the monotonic military camp. Life is never worst than the days in the camp. However, my expectation was not met currently, compare to NTU. Though physically I am settling down, I am emotionally unsatisfied. Despite travelling around the adventurous and interesting Taipei, I do not enjoy very much, mostly due to I have to compromise with some very different ideology and cultural. It is my fault to discriminate.

Sometimes I felt grief because I still have to suffer for such a long time despite I gave up so much in NTU. After reading redpepper`s post--Sweet 16, I am invoked. I really wish to know how I feel when I first start my uni life in NTU. The memory is not vivid as I am not able to read my blog currently. The songs I used to listen evoke the sweet memories. I know why I am here, but I can`t help myself indulge in the past. I am really someone who refuses to changes. I am getting more stubborn as I am elder. Again it is my fault because I am not able to open up my mind.

Knowing my friends are heading and ending their year 2 uni life make me so emotional. I envy their freedom. Despite the love and earnest caring from new friends and family, I feel the loneliness and misery as a military student. I have no idea why I have to overcome all this unnecessary predicament when I could be like other s enjoying their 20`s. I question my decision made, I question myself, and it is so regretful!

I would adopt the life in Taiwan, sis said. It is very contradict to confess that I don’t really hope that would happen, and I would back in NTU. Rationally this won`t work very well as I am 1 semester lag and others will not look at me positively. Anyway, I might feel better if I really went back. Sometimes I fancy what if I insisted to go back this semester despite all the love and support from mom. Mom`s expectation might be the only support that makes me through the training, but it is very sorry to admit that I felt pressured more than love. If I am did not complete the training, I would be much happier though my future would be uncertain. Now I deeply understand the importance to being passionate. Please understand that I am not blaming mom for what I am now. It is all my decision and I am the only one who responsible for it.

Maybe there are too much comparison, maybe I am not determined enough to wait for the fruits. I want to go back NTU, can I?

New horizon to pursue

At last, my life flipped into a brand new chapter. I was still wondering, what I would be if I stand till the end. The more mysterious it is, the more attractive it is to me. Nevertheless, the road is too dark for me. I may be tired of the effortless life in NTU, in the contrary; I may grow accustomed to the easy life style there.

The most precious lesson I learn from economics, you never predict the future accurately! You can only find remedies and explanations for crisis; and this is good enough. Spend your effort on your work would bear more fruit than finding shortcut.

It is always easy to say but hard to practice. Who is not aware of the philosophy of life? I would never stop dreaming what I would be if... (As I had been doing when I am in NTU) I am made to choose my interest first. To let me regret and do what I should do. If the journey is set so, why would I think anymore? There are arrangements from the universe (if u dun believe in god). There are things that can`t be advise by logical thinking. Just take it and fight like a man. Bring the glorious victory home with smile on face but sore all over the body. Life is nothing but a process.

MAEC year 1 sem 2

This is my second semester result. It remains almost the same. 

Shall I leave? What is my purpose to leave? What do I want in future? How to solve the puzzle of future?

手的迟疑

有人说当你双手相握，母子在上表示感性派。感性的巨蟹，感性派的我是不变的事实。无论当初有再大的决心，都无法打败感性的我。是股动力，也是怨恨。年幼时，认为自己能决定未来，那该多好。但现在却觉得这路口的黑暗让我害怕，让我好奇，让我迷失自己。有机会体会到被抛弃的选择，是否代表会做出更精准的选择。一失足成千古恨，永远的谜团。人生将会多一个我很在意的问题了。至今，当初的遗憾都时时警惕我，不要再错过人生任何精彩的部分。

记得中学时的我，未知的未来才精彩是我的座右铭。突然发现好幼稚，未知的神秘可是快乐和刺激的，但我不在享受这种刺激带来的快乐，相反的燃气我的欲望。想知道留下来会怎样？人生只能有一个结局，真的让我很遗憾。为何不能从来，让我揭开这两神秘的面纱，探个究竟。

我和你

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_duTfJRp6E&feature=related

check this link out. is a song wrote by a 17-years-old girl to her boyfriend.

somehow this song reminds me....

人生中没听过你离别前的叮咛和嘱咐，没能告诉你我的心意，还有好多好多说不清其中的感觉。有时我会想，到底你是否是像我所想象的那般爱我，你是否也像这歌手，有千言万语想对我说，还有你永远都没对我说过的那句话。听到这首歌，我心里真的有很多疑问，为什么？为什么是如此，为什么你真的不能不辞而别？我到今天都还很想知道，我真的以为我已忘了你

我答应过你我会好好活下去，即使我再也不能再如此爱你。要把回忆统统抹去，我真的做不到，即使相隔这么多年。但我明白你我的处境。

Last day for business law

This is the most interesting course I have taken through out my years of study. Sometimes I would think what would I be if I study laws. haha. Apperently, I am incapable to study due to low proficiency in language and I am quite reluctant to memorise things. Not until I am in NTU, I realise that actually I dont mind to memorise. Or I should put it in this way. I dont mind to know the step. But if I am required to memorise each and every step, it may be frustrated to me.

Esther Khoo was my tutor. Today is her last class in this semester. I miss her class very much. She reminds me of "You`re Beautiful" , by James Blunt. It illustrates my current feeling. I have to face the true that we shall never meet again, nor I could even see her on the road if I would go to Taiwan. Worse even, I dont have anything related to her. Not even a piece of photo. But please get it right, I love her as she is my mother. I miss you mother Khoo. haha.... Think too much. She is the second teacher I have such feelings.

As the class end, I started to realise that, I would be in Taiwan in coming June.

Is it the right decision?

Looking back, Heading Back.

In the same junction,

Same scent and scenery,

But I am no longer same

Shall I change my mind once again?

 

Used to lazy, slack…

Motivation sounds new to me.

If I continue I will stay lazy,

Do I become discouraged myself?

 

Strong sentiment to stay,

Emotion dominates once again?

Is it emotional or rational?

My worry seems to be dissolve.

Pride of getting an intern

Hope in future career.

Do I made the wrong decision again?

 

Isn`t my problem?
Why I am not studying right now.
Isn`t my fault?
Not being able to concentrate...
What I care most,
switch to Taiwan will change my mood or me?

 

These questions still bugs me.

Without valid reason,

With tons of advices,

Think twice, and twice and twice…

 

Shall I keep my promise?

Do the prides differ with each other?

 

I like pride…

Is it a wrong attribute for doctor? 

I will stay determined.

Medicine, here I come!

压力

爱自由的我，又必须有压力才会认真。如今的矛盾，是否是昔日懒惰的结果?眼看六科大考将同步进行，而我却想你，想那结果，想...就是不想面对事实。快疯了！

好想念你

最近都没机会好好的跟你谈了，好想你噢。今天心情更是糟。平时都希望星期五或星期六能听到你，感觉到你。或许被《明天以后》-林峰和泳儿，影响了心情，让我更想念你。你最近好吗？考试如何呢？我的关心你收到吗？我的想念你体会到没？没有你的嘘寒问暖，我真的没心情去完成日常任务，就连tutorial 也没心情完成。明明都剩下一点点而已，但都没那把劲将它完成。或许太空虚了吧？

今天，我们到NUS去看键钦的口琴表演。说真的没想象中那么棒，但繁忙的NUS学生，还能组织成那样，也算过的去。又或许我星期五到了一个世界水平的交响乐演奏，一时有太高的希望了。但拜五的真的很棒！安哥了两首歌呢！本来应该只是一首而已，但或许指挥家听到如连续不断的雷响的掌声，再献上一首。每一首都是非常闻名的曲子。不能和你分享我的喜悦，遗憾的很。

再过一星期，我就知道是否要到台湾了。由于每个人都说我会拿到，我也有点被影响，相信我会拿到。如果真的如此，那我们的距离不就更远了吗？现在都如此想念你，如果到那，不就更想念了吗？心里有点怕，我们会像《明天以后》叙述那般。很怕明天以后，你不在是我的了，那种空虚感，那种想念，那种在一起的感觉，那些我们开心的一切。最了解我的你感受到我的恐惧吗？感觉到我的矛盾吗？明白为什么我会如次没劲吗？无可否认，我真的不太喜欢新加坡的生活。但那距离感，我又能战胜吗？

Try to cut short your work?

I think this show why lazy people like me never do well all the times. We find ways to cut short our jobs. It would very dangerous when we don`t even know the main purpose of the job.

Nonetheless, I do like to take short cuts. I really wonder when the big challenge in my day will hit me...

Dream, Wish, Ambition.

It is undeniable that everyone has a goal for their life. Since young, I am educated to plan for future. From saving to health, we have to be careful during young time and it would transform to, somehow, into our future benefit. But do we ask ourselves, why do we plan something? Why should we plan in this way and not the other way? Or do you ever think if things were not planned in this manner, what will turn out then?  When I consider both side of the coin, I find the coin is too heavy to be toss. I would just keep thinking what would happen if I do the other way.

Being a result orientated but rational enough to realize that life is not just about result, I am very confused in career selection or perhaps each choice I had made. For example, what breath would you choose? As a result from result orientated, the benefit of the module would be my main concern. Nevertheless, when I have an answer from the cost-benefit analysis, I would try to find arugment against my choice, is it merely because it is better for you in future or currently. Sometimes the module is just not my piece of cake. I would take it mainly due to the skills is more beneficial. I would then ask myself, would you choose it if the requirement of skills change?

What future do I want? I think is the most important question to answer. We never know how our future would turn out with each choice we made before hand. This makes the question even harder to answer and harder to judge how well is the answer. Would I want an office job which have regular hour? Or I prefer a job with 48 hours on calls?

 There will no answer for this open ended question unless I know what I actually interested in. I am only interested in interesting things. Why things seem so easy and straight forward for other is so hard for me? Perhaps challenge is the only interesting job I like.

 Quote from my DEAREST MOM,

“You are only interested in critical decision and important role.”

 In short, I think am just too lazy to do things, only things that are highly important I would be force to performe well. I need to be stressed.

Apologise And Appreciate

Sorry and Thank you. 

没能压住我的脾气，深感抱歉。近来都不知为何，不断向你发脾气。有点后悔刚才没好好和你谈，真的不知现在可以为你做什么？你明天就要面试，可以说是你人生中第一次的面试，也是我第一次看你对正经事如此紧张。无论明天结局如何，都希望你能上了一堂宝贵的课。

无论如何，我还是觉得如果你真的有想要干出一番事业，平时真的好做一些准备。临时包佛脚也是无补与事。最后，祝你“宇”到工成。我爱你。

NVM- National Vertical Marathon

The most special way of marathon that i had, Vertical Marathon. The marathon was climb 60 floors up, 280m above sea. The time took was short, around 15min but I should say it is just same with running for 10km. 

Her blog is closing down...  Since I am in NTU, her blog is one of my entertainment. I wonder when if i can adapt the days without her blog. Anyway, I belief people will get too busy for blogging. I miss your words still.

Omg, 3 exams ahead... bye bye readMe, i definitely would miss it.

Good Friend

During my childhood, I was used to keep changing school. The longest kindergarden I stayed for is 1 years. Anyway, kids makes friend quiet easily. Not until I was in primary, I started to realise the gap between individuals. The memories of being alieanated still stay vividly in my mind. Fortunately, my change school  life comes to an end. Do you still remember one of the hot compo question in your primary, My Best Friend. This is one of hardest question I have ever attempt. 

In the past, I did not did well in this kind of easy essay. But can I do it today? Frankly speaking, I still cant identify my best friend is who? Who is she or he? For those who think this kind of question is easy, you should appreciate and dont take your best friend for granted.

During my Junior Middle, friends still are some hard to define terms. Albeit I can easily adpot myself in to a new group, are they really my friends? Or they are just passers-by? Having good friendship is some I would green with envy. Friendship was defined when JM3. Sikeling group is really one of my best group. I really love each and every of them. I very happy when I am with them, but for a boy who born in a very realistic family. I know they are not suitable for me. I cant deny that the precious memories we had. But I cant make myself not to think about my future. My expectation of future are quite different from them. Sorry to walk away from tou since I have my journey to go. On top of that, I did have my constraint. Nevertheless, all of you are deep inside my heart. I love you.

P/S:  For those I did not mention, I love you still, cherish the moment we shared. You know who you are.

星座

我一向都对用星座分析人性有点信心。是否有根据真的不知道。虽然不能诠释一个人，但往往我都会同意星座对我的评语。就犹如刚刚看到的：

巨蟹老公似乎比雙子座更具有雙面個性。

家人与朋友前，就会看到两个我。对着亲人，真的不想让人担心，总得干出一番事业让他们轻松。但我相信在朋友面前我真的是个懒个体。

hm... 现在想想，好像好多人都是如此的吧？但不知为何我还是觉得我是双面的。

The Internal Conflic

Days come and goes

Waited for the day

but still far away

Things change everyday

Waited for the worst to come

but it never be met

Does God like to test us?

When you pray for something

Your offer would be tested

Your determination is challenged

Things never get done easily.

I wonder if it is good or bad.

But the I recall vividly the Junction I were.

The wrong decision I had made

Being emotional...

Today, the same issue arise.

She is applying for some work and training programme

The paradox of love

To let her free or not?

You have to carry out thing 

regardless your hope and your plans.

Things just screw up.

School is back for more than a week. Things are starting to get back on track. The schedule for this semester was quite packed. Most of my clubs are having major event which force me to work harder. A lazy drawl likes me will never get motivated to do something not interested. I wonder how am I going to make those event be successful. 

These days, when I read her blog. Wow, it is like very down and sad. As we both are cancer, I understand her feelings when the whole family are against her dream. I believe her family understand that dreams are important, but they just need time to accept that you have such dream.