School is back for more than a week. Things are starting to get back on track. The schedule for this semester was quite packed. Most of my clubs are having major event which force me to work harder. A lazy drawl likes me will never get motivated to do something not interested. I wonder how am I going to make those event be successful. 

These days, when I read her blog. Wow, it is like very down and sad. As we both are cancer, I understand her feelings when the whole family are against her dream. I believe her family understand that dreams are important, but they just need time to accept that you have such dream.

Within-expectation-result

Hm.... This result does not seem any better than my past result. I was satisfied with it overall, but I do think it can be much more better by changing the B+ to A+. MAS111 is Calculus1. The exam was moderate. I should say, if you do your homework, you would score 100%. Is that easy.

Nevertheless, I was careless and cost me a lot of marks(around 30%). I should also belief the S (stand for Satisfactory) would be replaced by an A, if i did not S/U it. I done pretty well in that exam. 

The very first day I joined NTU, I aimed for 4.5. I wonder why I seem to yearn for more when I get 4.75. I wish I was not that careless in MAS112. Anyway, I think I deserved better. Laugh out loud. Ironically, the effort i gave in was not proportionate to the result. I belief this might make people envied with green.

Teeth, u have to stand on your own

The yes-days end when it leave me. Lossing them is painful. The merciless dentist removed them as they should not be there. To me, they are healthy and mighty. As the pain get tenser each time, I wonder, why should I remove them? Just because I was told so? Good question ha? Ironically, I was enjoying life before the surgery. 

Luckily, she was caring enuogh to bought me some ice-cream. Although she could not stay for awhile, her warm concern was touching and unforgetable. Muack! I love you my dear. You always know how to comfort me.

Crystal

我们不曾相识。别说谈天，就连打招呼大概也不曾有过。但不知为何，得空时总是会看看她的部落格，了解她的近况。有时看到她在部落格中诉苦发泄，很想给予慰问，但始终没这么做。或许是自卑吧(更重要的是我们不曾相识，对她了解不深，贸然发表不太妥吧？），从内到外，我都没一点配的上成为她的朋友。无论家境，见识，人缘，无一能配的上她。在她面前，我彻底的失败。有时会幻想日后事业有成后，去搭讪她。哈哈，想太远了吧？就只想和她认识，有酱的机会吗？

初三时开始懂得她存在。是因为我当时暗恋的她有时会提到Crystal。那时他们都在“八”她的感情世界。什么郎材女貌，什么分手很可惜。那时开始，她就留下了美好的印象。但话说会来，窈窕淑女君子好求，真的可以用在她身上。她那非凡的样貌，虽称不上倾国倾城，但也是美人一名。她的绯闻也算是有新闻价值，因此不时会听到她的消息。

高二时，瑞琪是我邻居，自然会听到更多的关于Crystal的事咯。同年发现她也是巨蟹座，她生日跟我很近，没记错的话是和刘明华师同日。开始想了解她更多，开始到她的部落格。每当阅读她那流利的英语，都会由心佩服，她的语文能力真的时不可置疑。

自从有了新的手提电脑后，很久都没上她的部落格了，刚刚上去了解了一番。她近来好像蛮开心的，我觉得为她开心。记得上次到那儿时，她好像有好多烦恼，有好多不愉快的事。现在也应该雨过天晴了吧？但现在真的想知道她更多的近况，例如要到那儿念大学，修什么系，等等。

虽然你我没缘相识，但这单方面的关心，我也很满足了，就只想知道你当下会开心，以后会幸福。

暗友笔

pine pine 啊，你是不是真的爱我

28 nov， 自从到了新加坡后，好像没从前那么纯纯的爱，不知是现实了，还是什么。bee bee对不起，都是我的错。你是不是真的爱我，一针见血。我当然是爱你噢，但或许有点变了，变到我都觉得恐怖。我会变回来的

海角七号，更让我再三反思，天使与恶魔的斗争，虽然天使明显赢了，但beebee你知道我知错了吗？不知从何时我忘了那纯纯的爱，或许我近来缺乏精神粮食。庆幸的是回到你身边，一切都能回到从前。说真的，到现在都还没认真的为你庆生，是我不对。一定要让你过一个特别的生日，是我对自己的要求。一定要办到！

Countdown to See YOU

After the glorious pass of HRM, I had slacked for 3 days. Being an uni student, I felt the freedom I yearned. I wish I would ever have this freedom. As the Chinese saying goes, "要自由必须先自律", I know the procrastination must come to an end... Nevertheless, should I have any motivation to start my studies during the following days? Where is the inspired Davis? Where is my preserverence? 

Time and tide wait for no man. I belief the payoff for the slack is beyond what my guess.... Thank God I had finish the series. Without motivation as well as distraction, I could at least pick up my book... 

As the day back to Malaysia approaches, my feeling goes wilder.... Miss YOU.

我不配

今天是友福的生日前夕，hpc 和 sam （还有俊文，佑佑，孙渊）到 ntu 来帮他庆生，哈哈应该感到开心吧，不知道他感觉如何，但我觉得还蛮开心的。到食堂五吃火锅，那东炎真的不行。一道上等的菜肴讲究色香味具全，但它没搭上一个，真够糟糕。没法啦，人在新国，身不由己。之后到福福房，一起唱生日歌，还有sam弹吉它伴奏咯，友福zap到啦。用俊文的手机拍“团体照”时，突然让我联想到求婚大作战（sp)。哈哈，有点想太多。可能是我们用timer，加上我近来看了很多次，因为他们也是用timer。不过还是很逞强。

但那跟这标题有何瓜葛？回到房，电脑播出《我不配》，这首歌给我很深刻的映像。当时眼看就快和宇芊分手时，就是一直想到这首歌。不过，歌词反映了我对她的关系。

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉　已经不对　
我努力在挽回 一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略　你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对　
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配


高三时，因为考试和比赛，说真的没太多时间给她，当然自己也有玩啦，我酱贪玩。但现在我同样的不能陪她，真的让我觉得很对她不起。她为我掉的眼泪，为我的一切，我到现在都无法给她一些最简单的东西，平时无法陪她，连都生日无法帮她庆祝。对不起，但我真的爱你...想很仔细的看看她，有很多很想的事情，但同样的也很想和朋友团聚...嗨，不知该如何。矛盾...到底什么是对你爱的人最好？打个比方，大家都在追求梦想，但你的父母最想的不是每天都能看到孩子吗？连最简单的都没办法...可悲...